Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Ah, the sweet smell of

failure.

161.

Better than 165 or 162. But still, 161. Not 160. I suppose I could step on the scale in 3 hours and it would say 159, but at the moment this morning that I decided to face the numbers, it said 161, so that's what I have to go with, right?

It sucks. The old FatSarah would throw her hands up and say, "See?!! I can't lose weight! Why try? I'll just embrace my tubbiness and forget about trying to get rid of it!" But I can't this time. There's too much at stake this time and for the rest of my life for me to do that anymore.

So I start the new year with a new goal. I have no idea how long it will before I find myself staring at the business end of a pregnancy test, so I can't say that "I will lose 20 pounds this year," because honestly, I could lose another 5 and then gain 30.

The goal, instead, is going to be to eat more healthfully, losing weight for as long as is possible, whether it's 2 more weeks or 12 more months. Pregnancy, if I'm lucky enough to find it this year, will not be an excuse to gorge myself like it was last time (that's an exaggeration, but not by much). I'm going to start by using the fancy, "all the bells and whistles" food journal I got the other day.

Welcome to the world of "if you bite it, you write it--2008".

4 comments:

KMW said...

It was probably just water weight!! Plus you maintained your general weight through the holidays which I think is amazing!

Becca said...

How frustrating. But I agree maintaining through the holidays is quite an accomplishment. Good luck with the healthful eating. I had a similar goal but started out the day with an almond pastry (because Charlie slept horribly AGAIN and I needed something to look forward to on the way to work). I have plans for an apple, some string cheese, and whole wheat toast for lunch. Let's see if I can stay away from the almond M&Ms.

Becca said...

I just realized how cynical my comment sounded. I meant to say "Good luck! You can do it!" (hearty fist pump). I am just frustrated with myself :). Good luck!

Tress said...

Just a thought on the food journal...have you checked out Sparkpeople.com? It's free and it has a pretty fab nutrition tracker. Lots of stuff already loaded into it, eliminates a lot of calculating which I have always hated doing.

I signed up after Christmas and started inputting everything daily...holy Quiznos, I had no idea what rubbish I was putting in my mouth! Next week I'm going to sample a few days of their "meal plans."

I know you have purchased one already, just thought this might save you some aggravation. Plus, they will send you all kinds of motivational emails...I'm actually going to shut those off, they are inundating me with them!