Saturday, April 07, 2007

Seriously, people. This is bad...

So it's 4 months later. I haven't posted at all; had you noticed? I also haven't lost ONE. DAMN. POUND. I swear. My body is stuck. Stuck. stuck. stuck. stuck.

People keep telling me, "you look great! Are you losing weight? Have you lost weight?" Um. No. You're just being nice and we both know it because I look as fat as I did the last time you saw me. Just as fat. No thinner. Still the same weight.

So here it is people: renewed accountability. I will post, even if it just a boring list of the crap I ate, every. single. day. ALL OF THEM. And I will tell you if I worked out, for how long, what I did and how much I hated every single minute of it. And you have a job, too, if you are bored and desperate enough to read this silliness---if I don't post or if I don't work out or if I admit to eating crap---KICK ME IN THE ASS FOR IT! I need the internet to tell me I'm a fat blob (in a "I'm doing this for your own good" sort or way, not a "haha! I hate you, you big fatty!" way, please!) to motivate me to lean it up.

Hopefully this will become more than just a collection of boring food and exercise lists. I have battled with weight for my entire life, so I probably have tons of witty and insightful ideas to share. Maybe.

So what are my big trouble spots, you "might" ask? I still like to say that at least 10 of my 166 lbs are in my boobs and while they are still a food source, there's not much I can do about that. So I would say my boobs are a "trouble" area, but that's not really fair, right? (this is called "rationalizing" & it is my forte).

I also am cursed with ginormous upper arms. Lovely if I were part of a crew team or an Olympic swimmer. Unfortunately, I am an almost middle-aged housewife with arm-flab. Being almost middle-aged has nothing to do with it, actually. When I was in college and fat (as opposed to when I was in college and skinny, which was earlier), I was in two weddings where the bride wanted the bridesmaid dresses custom made. Both seamstresses measured my upper arms as TWO full dress sizes bigger than the rest of my body. That's purty! Blech.

And whose thighs are these?? Seriously. I have NO idea where they came from or who they came from, all I know is someone is walking around with MY thighs in what can only be the most unfair trading of thighs ever in the history of the world.

And then of course, there is the curse of the post-pregnancy belly. I've always had a bit of a buddha-belly and I've made peace with that because you know? We can't have it all. I figured my strong, fit legs and reasonably rockin' ass were a fair trade for a bit of pudge in my belly. Well, now the strong, fit legs and rockin' ass are sporting an extra layer of insulation, as is the belly. Sigh.

So there you have it--boobs, arms, belly. I'm still okay with the legs and the butt, mostly because if I admit that those are trouble spots as well, I've basically admitted my entire body is crap right now, and I'm just not prepared to do that! :-)

I did go to the gym twice this week. Felt fabulous, but I admit I spent more energy worrying about Ethan in the "casual child care" center than I spent running and doing the weight machines. This might be more rationalizing....

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